Orson Welles: Great Actor, Great Director, Great Eater

The What Looks Good? Hall of Fame is dedicated to the celebration of the best and brightest food dishes the culinary world has to offer, yet I have made the decision to open up non-food entities to nomination and induction. The Hall of Fame should be as much a celebration of eating as it is a celebration of that which is eaten, and with that in mind I am creating a Hall of Fame Eater category. Inductees must be wholly committed to the art of eating, so much so that it defines a large part of who they are as people. Also, these people will more than likely all be very, very fat--though that is far from a strict criteria, the Hall of Fame allows eaters of all shapes and sizes. These eaters will be individuals committed to acts of consumption that go above and beyond normal human gastronomic limits. With that in mind, I can think of no better inaugural inductee than one of the greatest eaters--and one of the greatest actor/directors--of all time: Mr. Orson Welles.

Welles' size in the later years of his life show us that he was committed to eating, but how committed he was, most people do not know. In fact, he worked with great diligence to attain his later size, eating amounts most people can scarcely imagine. One of his greatest feats was accomplished while filming Citizen Kane, where it is said that he regularly ate a dinner that consisted of two steaks, each with a baked potato, a whole pineapple, triple pistachio ice cream, and a bottle of scotch. On many occasions I've thought about attempting to copy this feat, but I quickly change my mind whenever I really think about how much food that is. That act alone is enough to seal his place in the What Looks Good? Hall of Fame, and it is just one of the many reasons why he is one of my idols.

Welles' love for food has been captured most accurately in the brilliant-but-cancelled Jon Lovitz animated show, The Critic, which blends together his love for food with his famous fussiness, once captured in an outtake of a radio commercial about frozen peas. Here are a few wonderful Welles lines from the show:

Spoken while exiting a frozen peas commercial:
"Oh, what luck--there's a french fry stuck in my beard."
After quitting a fish stick commercial and taking "a few for the road":
"Mmm...yes...oh, yes...they're even better raw!"

Welles is famous for other things, of course: Citizen Kane, the War of the Worlds broadcast, interviewing Mike Douglas on his own show. But since this is a forum only for food discussion, I will limit my praise for the man to his digestive prowess. Here's to you, Orson Welles, one of the greatest eaters in modern history and a fitting inductee to the Hall of Fame.

In-N-Out Burger -- Double-Double

What better way to start this blog off, than with my favorite fast food meal? To me, the Double-Double with fries and a root beer is pound for pound the best meal available for purchase. There are other meals out there which are better, but in terms of consistency, value and quality, the Double-Double stands above any other food item. I'm not alone in this, of course: In-N-Out enjoys a surprisingly devoted fanbase, and it isn't because of the Bible verses stamped on the cups.

One of the main things the Double-Double--and all In-N-Out products by extension--has going for it is the freshness of its ingredients. In-N-Out does not have any freezers on premises, and receives its beef from one farm in central California. Lettuce and onions have an uncharacteristic crispness that compliments the ultra-soft bun, and the tomatoes fall somewhere in between, firm and juicy, and never soft. This burger tastes great as it is, but for those intrepid few who don't mind asking for it, the "animal style" version of the Double-Double features extra special sauce, a mustard-grilled patty, grilled onions and pickles. It has a lot of different ingredients without tasting "busy," everything meshes together perfectly for the best fast food burger around. To me this is the quintessential American meal, which is why I have chosen the Double-Double as my profile picture. Look at it...doesn't it just look beautiful? Good enough to eat, no?

For those who can't quite stomach a double cheeseburger--completely understandable--the In-N-Out cheeseburger is a perfect taste-a-like with less overall food to consume. And for those looking for something bigger, the 3x3 and 4x4 (triple and quadruple cheeseburgers, respectively) are also available when requested. The only catch is that these burgers are only available in California and select areas of Nevada and Arizona. Limited availability, coupled with high quality, has fostered a devotion to In-N-Out not unmatched by any major chain in the country.

It is for this reason that I am inducting the Double-Double as the inaugural member of the What Looks Good? Hall of Fame. The Double-Double represents a good litmus test for the potential readers of this blog: most people will either love it or consider it slightly overrated. I will admit that there might be better meals out there, maybe even better burgers, but since this is a mass-produced fast food burger that still has exceptional taste and quality, it is pound for pound the best burger on the market today, and my favorite meal. The people who claim that it is overrated are entitled to their wrong opinion and can keep their faulty taste buds. If you don't like the Double-Double, you probably won't dig my writing. You probably wouldn't have liked this blog anyway.

And that is how you start off a blog: by telling off part of your potential audience. Wait, where are you going? Come back...I didn't mean it! Come back!
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Double-Double, $2.65 @ In-N-Out Burger